Sunday, June 15, 2008
Autobiography of Red
On my brother's first EP, he grabbed a clip from East of Eden. "Just a little lie, just a little white lie, that's all...You'll learn. You'll learn." "I don't think I want to learn that way!" It brings to mind the relationship between event and perception, and how in each of our private politcal economies, those powers by which we invest our identity speak loudest to us, even sound like us. R.I.P. Quinten Compson.
Conflict arises only when two seperate people wish to occupy the same role, the same body. Yet once these opaque wills within ourselves develop a charge great enough to erupt fume, ash, and then person, there are very few places to again make amorphous the now hardened image of ourselves. I remember looking back to see a narrative of my life, and was satisfied. I looked back to see myself and I was repulsed. This is not to confuse a negative self image, but an inability to have accept all potentials, and my choices in them. These facts are universal.
Traci led me onto the beauty of screentests. Despite the postmodern attention to erasures, screentests reveal a process not only of exclusion but also